


It Could Have Been You

by DirtyLilGreaseMonkey



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Funeral, Loads more characters but none of them speak, M/M, Mention of scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-29 02:29:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8472091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DirtyLilGreaseMonkey/pseuds/DirtyLilGreaseMonkey
Summary: Robert and Aaron attend James funeral and Robert can't help but have one resounding thought - It could have been you.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this in like twenty mins so it's probably rubbish but my thoughts on Roberts thoughts in today's episode 04/11/16

_It could have been you._

  
_It could have been you_ Robert thought for the umpteenth time that day as Aaron reached out and took his hand his eyes automatically falling to where their fingers connected the cool metal of Aaron's ring sending a shiver up his arm his own ring pressed firmly against his skin from his grip on the black handle in an attempt to stop the rain that was falling from soaking them to the bone.

  
He hadn't been able to take his eyes off Aaron that morning when he'd awoke, begging for just five more minutes when the younger man shrugged out of his embrace. He'd even insisting on showering together just to feel Aaron's warm body against his, to feel the thump of his heart beating inside his chest as he pressed his hand flat against it, needing the reassurance that Aaron was still alive and breathing not laying in a box somewhere waiting to be buried. He shook his head in an attempt to shake the thoughts from it because despite how happy he was to have Aaron stood next to him, his hand reaching out for him connecting them, there was still a body in the ground, and although he hadn't known James that well, just another face to nod to in the village, he could see how badly his passing was affecting those people closest to him. Standing there Aaron's warm hand in his three piece black suit on, he couldn't help but think of his father, the man who was laid to rest in the same way as James was being now, God what must he think of him, holding hands with a man in public like that, but that wasn't the issue that was eating away at Roberts insides, along with the thought of it could have been him, his mind had also begun to wonder back to that day over seven years ago. To the day he stood in that same graveyard and said goodbye.

He remembered telling Andy he didn't belong there, here, but now, seven years later, he couldn't imagine being anywhere else. He knew that had a lot to do with the man beside him, the man that has seen the real him, the one he'd hit behind the mask, the one he'd buried so far inside himself he didn't even know who he was or what he wanted but despite that Aaron had seen him, and with his help, and his hatred, and most of all his love he'd finally accepted himself for who he was, and yes he was holding a mans hand and he was proud to do so, proud of his love for Aaron, for the way he'd grown as a person from that love. It hadn't been easy loving Aaron, but nothing worth fighting for was ever easier, and he'd fought for Aaron, with Aaron, because of Aaron, because he was worth it, what they had was worth it, something that could have been ripped from him in a heartbeat.

  
_It could have been you._

  
He squeezed Aaron's hand in his, hard enough his knuckles turned white but it didn't matter to Aaron, who was returning the grip with just as much ferocity, the two of them anchoring themselves together in that moment, never letting go.

  
When reality sank back in and people began to move off towards the pub they stayed a moment longer, along with Rhona, paddy and pierce, each of them knowing what the other was thinking, none of them voice their thoughts out loud.

  
_It could have been you._

  
Slowly the others drifted off, and the two of them where alone, the sodden earth fresh beneath their feet, hands still locked tightly together.

  
"I..." Robert tired to voice everything he was feeling but his words failed him, and not for the first time around Aaron, and he was sure it wouldn't be the last.

  
"Don't," Aaron shook his head sucking his bottom lip in between his teeth.

  
"But you know...," Robert turned to Aaron and captured his other hand on his, somewhat awkwardly as he still held the umbrella high about them.

  
"I know."

  
Robert nodded he jaw clenched tight,  
"I just...I need.."

  
"Okay," Aaron agreed knowing Robert needed to do this.

  
"Will you....?" Robert was petrified to show up at his dad's grave with Aaron but an introduction was long overdue.

  
Aaron squeezed his answer with his fingers and with deep breaths they made their way across the grass towards the Sugden family plot. Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, cousins, his parents, they were all buried right here in Emmerdale, a place he'd tried to escape for so long, a place he thought he didn't belong, a place he came back to in spite of his better judgement and he said a little prayer of thanks that he did follow Chrissie and her family back there because without them he would never have met Aaron, and he was everything to him now. **Everything**.

  
Robert guided Aaron to the exact spot he'd stood and laid a rose on his dad's grave that night all those years ago and just stared, at what he didn't know.

  
"He'd be proud of you ya know."

  
"Shuddup," Robert grumbled his fingers tightening around Aarons in a silent thank you.

  
No more words where said as they turned and made their way back to the pub, the enormity of the day weighting heavily on their shoulders. Roberts resounding thought on replay in his head again.

  
_It could have been you_.

  
Before they stepped a foot into the door Robert pulled Aaron flush against his side and walked him the few steps back so his back was against the wall, his own body pinning him there.

  
"I don't want to wait," he said softly, the words dancing alone Aaron's skin.

  
"Wait for what?" Aaron practically panted his eyes dripping from Roberts to his lips and back up again.

  
"This, you, us," Robert brushed his thumb along his cheek bone he liked to feel the stubble under his touch.

  
"Robert," Aaron breathed out before the older man pressed their lips together.

  
"We've waited long enough," Robert whispered against Aaron's mouth as they shared a breath his thumbs caressing his cheek once again as he gave him another brief kiss making a silence promise to marry Aaron as soon as he could.

  
Sealing that promise with another chaste kiss he released Aaron their hands still intertwined and walked into the pub, feeling their connection faltering slightly as they broke apart so as to offer support to their loved ones, Aaron's to Adam and Roberts to Victoria but the blondes eyes were never far from Aaron's, seeking him out just to make sure he was still there, still breathing.

  
Sliding into the seat next to him Roberts hand once again found Aaron's under the table and he linked their fingers together, wanting, needing to feel that connection between again.

  
_It could have been you._

  
Roberts hand only left Aaron's as he excused himself to use the bathroom, although not in such a polite manner. When he returned to his seat he could see younger man was flagging slightly, the strain of the day etched across his face, his head leant back against the wall eyes closed his body tense under that black suit.

  
"You need to rest," Robert informed in softly with a gentle squeeze to the thigh,

  
"Come on."

  
"I'm fine," Aaron insisted even as he stifled a yawn. 

  
"You're not." 

  
"But..Adam," Aaron fretted only for the older man to counter,

  
"Has Vic." 

  
"Me mum," Aaron protested with a groan.

  
She seems to be doing alright to me he nodded his head towards a smiling Chas propping up the end of the bar to emphasise his point.

  
"You're still healing remember?"

  
"S'pose a lil kip wouldn't hurt," Aaron gave him a tired smile. 

  
_"_ Right then," Robert stood up and offered his hand out to a startled Aaron.

  
"What? You're..."

  
"Course...I got you into that suit didn't I?"

  
Yeah but.."

  
"Well," he leaned in close so only Aaron could hear him,

  
"I'm sure as hell gonna be the one taking it off too."

  
"Robert!" Aaron's eyes widen his gaze heated as he took Roberts offered hand and they retreated behind the bar.

  
"Thanks," Robert whispered once they'd climbed the stairs in a new record time of two minutes as he pulled the black silk of Aaron's tie through his hands.

  
"What for?"

  
_"_ Earlier, today, for coming back to me." 

  
"Oh," Aaron swallowed around the lump in his throat.

  
The starch reminder of just how close he'd come to losing Aaron was slashed across his skin, a shiny new scar red and raised standing out against the old ones his fingers brushed along the healing skin as he peeled the shirt away from Aaron's body.

  
"Don't....."

  
"You know they don't bother me right."

  
"I know." 

  
"Good, I can't wait til your better," Robert growled as he helped him slip out of his suit pants leaving him in just those tight back shorts that left nothing to the imagination begging to be touched, caressed, kissed, licked and sucked.

  
"Me too," Aaron groaned as Roberts hands slammed over his boxers the simple touch making him tremble.  
Robert frowned at the reaction to his touch,

  
"You in pain?"

  
_"_ No," Aaron yawned,

  
"Just need a lie down."

  
"Care for some company?" Robert smirked giving Aaron no chance to reply before his shirt buttons were undone.

  
_It could have been you_ he told himself again as his head hit the pillow his hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose to try and dissipate the resounding thought, but the man who slid under the sheets next to him did that, as he lifted his arm snuggling close, his last thought before exhaustion took over was,

  
_It could have been you, but it wasn't._


End file.
